Dearest Diary

It's January chapter 1 to 12

To be honest adulting is so f*cked up but so is being a teenager. When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people. There's always odd balls on the way that's for sure. I realized people deal with different things but same problems. You know people being people? Uhh well... people are weird. I guess that's being normalize nowadays because Donald Trump is still the president of the United states. Anyways I want to practice my french language again I feel mid because i FORGOT ::( AND remind me again to buy something for my gut because I think it's too fcked up right now. Ahhh, ok I remember last night I read something in threads that chinese girls in china actually drink hot water everyday for their gut (Im going to put this here so I dont forget)

By the wayyyy to my audience, please don't laugh because I just updated my blog after 2-3 years. I don't want to stress about this blog so I'm just gonna type down whatever is in my mind. First of all, I don't care if Siobe Lim was a s*x worker. She been through a lot she deserves everything she has right now. I want to age like her. Second, you can have monster energy at 11 pm then suddenly sleep at 11:10pm. Third, in 2026 DO NOT ask yourself whether your art is GOOD instead ask:

• is it SINCERE

• was it CATHARTIC

• was it FUN TO MAKE

• is it MADE BY ME

and don't forget to stay silly

Fourth, I hate school but I love feeding my mind knowledge except math. I hate math. Bye math. I don't know who am I gonna become but it's important to be always ready. I'm not actually expecting anymore to be "something big" because I think as long as I have a peaceful life, Im happy. Education is not something you can finish.

Alright, here's a good advice from me for today's blog because I don't know when am I gonna update it again next. Listen to me when I say Stop giving yourself a deadline for things you feel like you need to accomplish. When you do this you are stressing yourself out for no reason. We have our whole lives to do everything. Life is literally just a journey. It is not a competition and it is certainly not a race. You don't need to have sex, be in a serious relationship, finish school, get married, or have kids by a certain age. We do everything at our own pace because if we rush certain things or don't give ourselves chances to change our mind then sometimes we feel even more stuck. If you are an attractive woman of color you will always deal with haters. That is absolutely not a reflection of you. That is a reflection of a world who was designed to make us feel like we need to be humble, tone down our personalities, and become more palatable to be accepted. Never do any of that. You probably had haters in school, work, online and everywhere you go and it's because you are powerful and people want to humble you. Don't ever take it personally. Just feel sorry for those weak people and keep being powerful. Speak up for yourself. If you don't like how someone is speaking to you then say "I do not appreciate being spoken to like that. Try again." If someone hurts you tell them "That hurt me and I deserve an apology." No one in this world is going to speak up for you so you need to develop your voice. Stop thinking people won't like you. People will not like you regardless. So what? Do we need to cry about it lol? At least if you speak up for yourself then they will at the very least respect you. Women to women, stop being so male centered. Man generally care about s*x. They do not sit around daydreaming and thinking about your future together the way that women do. That's just the reality. If you are sitting around obsessing over a man then you are wasting your time. Instead, you should focus on your career. If a man doesn't see you like that, then my girl that's the man for you. Don't be in a rush. He will get himself ready for you. Read a lot of self-improvement books. Wisdom is good for you mentally and stuck inside your nerves. Stop looking at your phone too much. You don't have to post everything but if you do there's nothing wrong about just don't overdo it. A person who's in social media a lot actually missed out a lot in real life. Facts.

Alright here's my little secret, get your sh*t together spiritually. I'm not religious but I love God however I love talking to the universe more. I think I manifested a lot of things because of what I'm doing spiritually. Of course, we have our own beliefs. It's a little complicated explaining it here because my thoughts aren't focus on that maybe I will create a new blog soon focusing on that topic.

And sooooooo that is that. This is not chatgpt by the way. I do have some few topic ideas to blog about because sometimes I have too many thoughts or else I will explode.

Lastly,

Dearest Diary, myself and to you,

Be kind to the parts you are still learning.

Love

Zannie